Parents Of The Couple Gifts

'Your parents wrote this prenup stating you two will stay together at least long enough to justify your costly wedding.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bond James, Bond."

Grace For Flies

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"They grow up so fast."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Santa Claus's Mail

'Ahhh...'

'I told you it would be useful.'

baby sweetcorn...

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.