Parents And Children Gifts

"Tell me truthfully, mummy, was I adopted?"

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Boy on father's knee

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Young Godzilla.

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

Early Night Club

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

Childhood's End

Sweets

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

Teaching kids to count is fine - teaching kids what counts is best.

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

"You call that a made bed?"

Naive.

"There's a lesson here, son. Being rich doesn't stop it from raining,"

'Young man, face it. There's not going to be a regime change around here!'

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'

'I need a helping hand.'

'Look,Mum, that poor man's got toothache too!'

"Papi, can you take me to the carnival at the mall?"

Hug Robot going silent

"Ooooh, Mommy...do these things come with instructions?"