Boyfriend's Parents Gifts

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Bond James, Bond."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

You're my Mona Lisa.

Killer Executive Suits.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

LAY ZEE FUK

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Children's Parties

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Talk nerdy to me."

"What's a patent?"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Madonna of the Pukes.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"They grow up so fast."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "