Daughter's Boyfriend Gifts

'You NEVER like any of my boyfriends!'

'Oh boy, now we're in trouble, it's not a tree-trunk: It's my dad!'

"Don't tell me, Daddy scared you with his silly rules about dating his daughter, didn't he, Lance?"

"So you're the artist dating my daughter? I've seen your work...you MUST be starving."

Shepherd and eurydice

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'I sent out for everything.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Killer Executive Suits.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

You're my Mona Lisa.

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Remote control pirate bully

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."