Daughter's Boyfriend T-Shirts

'You NEVER like any of my boyfriends!'

'Oh boy, now we're in trouble, it's not a tree-trunk: It's my dad!'

"Don't tell me, Daddy scared you with his silly rules about dating his daughter, didn't he, Lance?"

"So you're the artist dating my daughter? I've seen your work...you MUST be starving."

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Robot Parts $5

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Killer Executive Suits.

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Skipping Horse

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Remote control pirate bully

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'