Boyfriend's Parents T-Shirts

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bond James, Bond."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Killer Executive Suits.

You're my Mona Lisa.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Grace For Flies

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

LAY ZEE FUK

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Talk nerdy to me."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"They grow up so fast."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"What's a patent?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."