New Boyfriend T-Shirts

"I gave you my number so you could call me, not run a background check."

New Boyfriend.

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'Of course we're compatible. Henry and I have exactly the same carbon footprint.'

'He likes you!'

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Killer Executive Suits.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Talk nerdy to me."

LAY ZEE FUK

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"What's a patent?"

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"