Mom's Boyfriend Gifts

"Mom's new boyfriend wants to take me tropical beach fishing."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Killer Executive Suits.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

You're my Mona Lisa.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Domestic Superheroes!!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

LAY ZEE FUK

"What's a patent?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'