Friend's Mom Gifts

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'Ahhh...'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

Twenty-first century baby walker

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Moms gone wild

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

"How many times do I have to beep you?"