Introducing Boyfriend Gifts

Although Danielle hoped that her dad and her new boyfriend would hit it off...

"He's everything I want in a man."

"Well, my new boyfriend likes to read. He's a bookie."

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Killer Executive Suits.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

LAY ZEE FUK

"What's a patent?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"