Parents Gifts

"One day Son all this will be yours."

Seder Plate Symbols Explained

"I'm afraid I made quite a nuisance of myself in here last night."

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin playing hockey. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore."

"And remember, have your parents ask their doctor if Ambulex is right for them."

"Have you any idea how much that playstation cost?"

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"It's true. You were actually born a beautiful princess, but you were given to us to be brought up... and there's not a damned thing you can do about it!"

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"Someday, son, this will all be yours—and underwater."

"We've changed our minds. We do want to be a burden to you."

At home with the brass section.

"Daddy works in a magical, faraway land called Academia."

"For next Father's Day, we'll get you a tie clip."

'They want your underwear.'

"Enough!"

A classroom full of young children; a schedule board in the background lists the day's activities which include: circle time, art fun, snack and S.A.T. prep.

"180 quid that nintendo wii cost me! And you're reading a bloody book!"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Because of inflation, I'm going to have to let two of you go."

"Are we there yet?"

Philosopher trading cards.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I vary her diet with a wide variety of pasta shapes."

"What if we stow the 'Star Wars' crap for five seconds, Timmy, and get to the geometry?"

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"Alexa, would you like to say grace?"

"Well, the children are grown up, married, divorced, and remarried. I guess our job is done."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"The Icarus story is just that- a story."

Rorschach's parents

"If you want to be more like Mom and Dad, kids, you've got to start pounding down those Shirley Temples."

"Good shootin', son. I'm pretty sure that was a squirrel."

"Keeping all out kids does NOT make us hoarders."