Parenting Veteran Gifts

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"You sure have a funny way of making someone feel better."

'Yes, puberty did put me through a lot of stress. . . but it was my daughters puberty.'

"Go to sleep, or she'll sing it again."

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"Postwar is hell."

Military Medals

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

'I was in the catering corps.'

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

'Forget what?'

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

UNFADED GLORY

'Beware of teething baby.'

Buggy with Snowplow.