Parenting Survivalist Gifts

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'Arf! Arf!'

"Ahh...He's got wind"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

Prepper Dog

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

Tsunami Evac Route

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'