Divorce Survivalist Gifts

'You again? -- what went wrong this time?'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"...until death do you a favor."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'Arf! Arf!'

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

Ereptile Dysfunction

Island and man

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'I wish we'd never invented talking — nagging was so much easier to take in sign language.'

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

Jim Evans - Father, husband and darn good eatin'.

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

Starving explorer.

Desert crawler following water

"Now do you believe me?"

'Ready or Not here I come.'

"Anyone know how to prepare sushi?"