Parenting Style Analyzers Gifts

"In my day, if you colluded with anyone, Dad went for his belt."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

A boy and his spin patrol.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

'I'm not so sure I'm a problem child. Maybe you're a problem parent.'

'Of course I love her - but I'm not in love with her.'

"In regards to my son's education I am a firm believer in 'Laissez-Faire'."

'Gautier goes to Mothercare.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"You seem calm above the surface, but underneath I feel as if you're paddling like hell away from me."

"Arrows won't work on him. Use a taser."

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

"Everyone wants to know what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."

"What do you mean, you didn't know I wanted a divorce? Don't you follow me on social media?"

'To be honest, the only reason I don't leave her is because she takes my penalty points on her licence.'

'Yes, but the ideological notion that striking a child isn't justified under any circumstances contradicts thousands of years of parenting experience.'

"Alpha Male."

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"When I first started working here, I thought our boss would be a good listener. But, that hasn't been the case."

'Neo-extended family'

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

Man Locked in a Heart

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'

"They shouldn't show all this sex on TV. Kids will learn from it. "

Suggestions and Excuses Box

'I'm not sure that this degree of competition is entirely healthy.'

'Sorry, Benson, but I automatically fire anyone who complains that I'm too autocratic.'

'Son, I want you to be successful and able to survive in this tough world. That's why I'm feeding you with raw meat.'

'I keep my wife under the bed.'