Parental Control Analyst Gifts

"They shouldn't show all this sex on TV. Kids will learn from it. "

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

A boy and his spin patrol.

New dunce caps

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I'm not so sure I'm a problem child. Maybe you're a problem parent.'

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

"Philip has questioned my stewardship."

"Parental advisory explicit content"

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

Baby boomerang.

'You can go play at Kevin's house if it's all right with your attorney.'

"In my day, if you colluded with anyone, Dad went for his belt."

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

'Yes, but the ideological notion that striking a child isn't justified under any circumstances contradicts thousands of years of parenting experience.'

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

"Dad won't let me play video games because they promote violence...so he's letting me play with his assault rifle collection!"

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

'I'm not sure that this degree of competition is entirely healthy.'

'Ask your mother.'

'Son, I want you to be successful and able to survive in this tough world. That's why I'm feeding you with raw meat.'

"So what if he paid a classmate to do his homework – it was his own allowance."

"That's the trouble when you visit your parents - no matter how old you are they end up treating you like a child again."

The new Teen Drive Bungee: Keeps your teen within a three-mile radius of home!

'My parents want me to go to a Poison Ivy School.'

"You're the reason nations fail."

"Please don't lecture the boy again about throwing the paper on the front steps."