Parenting Style Analyst Gifts

'Son, I want you to be successful and able to survive in this tough world. That's why I'm feeding you with raw meat.'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"Please don't lecture the boy again about throwing the paper on the front steps."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

A boy and his spin patrol.

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

'I'm not so sure I'm a problem child. Maybe you're a problem parent.'

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"

"In regards to my son's education I am a firm believer in 'Laissez-Faire'."

'They sort of grow on you.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

"She's one of those bad mothers who say they're bad mothers but think they're good mothers."

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

"Oh no, not dinner again!"

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"Philip has questioned my stewardship."

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

"When I left for school this morning, were we getting along, or did I promise never to talk to you again?"

"And remember, son, perception isn't reality - money is."

Baby boomerang.

'Your phone isn't wireless, Dad. I found some wires in it right here.'

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

"Think the unthinkable, move out."

'Eat your mushroom soup, George - Mother picked them especially for you...'

'Yes, but the ideological notion that striking a child isn't justified under any circumstances contradicts thousands of years of parenting experience.'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"In my day, if you colluded with anyone, Dad went for his belt."