Parenting Style Analyzers T-Shirts

"In my day, if you colluded with anyone, Dad went for his belt."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

A boy and his spin patrol.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

Intelligent Sexual Design

'I'm not so sure I'm a problem child. Maybe you're a problem parent.'

'Gautier goes to Mothercare.'

"In regards to my son's education I am a firm believer in 'Laissez-Faire'."

'Of course I love her - but I'm not in love with her.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"Arrows won't work on him. Use a taser."

"You seem calm above the surface, but underneath I feel as if you're paddling like hell away from me."

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

Tarzan has a copy of playboy

"Everyone wants to know what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."

"What do you mean, you didn't know I wanted a divorce? Don't you follow me on social media?"

"When I first started working here, I thought our boss would be a good listener. But, that hasn't been the case."

'To be honest, the only reason I don't leave her is because she takes my penalty points on her licence.'

"Alpha Male."

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

'Yes, but the ideological notion that striking a child isn't justified under any circumstances contradicts thousands of years of parenting experience.'

'Neo-extended family'

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'

"They shouldn't show all this sex on TV. Kids will learn from it. "

Suggestions and Excuses Box

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

Man Locked in a Heart

'I'm not sure that this degree of competition is entirely healthy.'

'Sorry, Benson, but I automatically fire anyone who complains that I'm too autocratic.'

'Son, I want you to be successful and able to survive in this tough world. That's why I'm feeding you with raw meat.'