Parenting Sages Gifts

"Well, do you have proof it wasn't bigfoot?

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"Mom probably wouldn't buy us one, but you have to learn to make your own choices, Dad."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"That is one absorbent nappy."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

Grounded

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Ah...here they are!"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

The modern generation!

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Toilet Training

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'