Parenting Rookies Gifts

'You mean they don't come with an instruction manual?'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'What's play?'

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

'Yipee! A cockroach!'

"Support the head."

"Once I have the motor skills, I'll be knee deep in pudding every. Damn. Day."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'The kid was right! There WAS a monster under his bed!'

The relay race

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

'Sorry, Holly!'

Add your kids' ages together...

"Just wait until your nanny gets here."

"Mom usually chews it up for us."

I'm fed up with cleaning your room! From now on, wipe your feet!