Novice Dad Gifts

'Where's the steering wheel on this damn thing?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"That's mine!"

Doughboy Dad

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Which one's yours?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Which one's mine?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"It's a dependent!"

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Which one's yours?'

The (literal) birth of Venus.

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

Overprotective Father

New dad.

"I've decided not tot become a father until later on in my fatherhood."

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"