Newbie Dad Gifts

'Doesn't give us much to look forward to, does it?'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Doughboy Dad

"That's mine!"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

Batman's Baby

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"Which one's yours?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Which one's mine?"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"It's a dependent!"

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"It was a difficult delivery."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

The (literal) birth of Venus.

Overprotective Father

'Which one's yours?'

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

New dad.