Parenting Newbies Gifts

Impractical Guide to Having Babies

'What's play?'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Batman's Baby

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

Mom dwarves.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

Constructing your own prison!

'Yipee! A cockroach!'

"Support the head."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"Once I have the motor skills, I'll be knee deep in pudding every. Damn. Day."

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'The kid was right! There WAS a monster under his bed!'

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

The relay race

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'

"Mom usually chews it up for us."

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

I'm fed up with cleaning your room! From now on, wipe your feet!

"Just wait until your nanny gets here."