Parenting Rookies Pillows

'You mean they don't come with an instruction manual?'

'What's play?'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Einstein's Theory of Relativity For Dummies

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

Mom dwarves.

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Support the head."

'Yipee! A cockroach!'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"Once I have the motor skills, I'll be knee deep in pudding every. Damn. Day."

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'The kid was right! There WAS a monster under his bed!'

The relay race

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

'Sorry, Holly!'

"Just wait until your nanny gets here."

I'm fed up with cleaning your room! From now on, wipe your feet!

"Mom usually chews it up for us."