Parenting Perspective Collector Gifts

'First the birth canal, and now preschool! Where does this all end?'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'He never listened to his mother!'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

The relay race

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"My mom used to be an excellent housekeeper, but I put a stop to that."

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

'Except...That.'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

"We do all our own parenting."

'Baby escape.'

"If you need help with your homework ask your father...and he'll ask me."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

Chewbacca mom and her entire family get full college scholarships.

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

'Don't mind the baby. She's teething.'

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

"Is it wrong that I miss the dog more than the kids?"

"Ok mummy, perhaps this isn't so crummy!"

'Okay, but if you hadn't made me eat my vegetables, I wouldn't need to brush my teeth!'

"Come now, Gracie! Squash is a great vegetable...it can be fried, sliced, baked, steamed or boiled...before you refuse to eat it."

"Work soft, play soft, Son"