Parenting Wisdom Collector Gifts

"I've said it until I'm blue in the face - keep sitting on walls and something bad's going to happen. But what do I know? I'm just your mother."

'He never listened to his mother!'

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'Except...That.'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

"His room is always clean. Do you think we should take him to a psychologist?"

'We're not paprazzi. We're your parents.'

"Go ask your mother."

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'Said once, and never again!'

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Don't make me come over there."

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

"Let me know when those two kids cross the street start crying."

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

"What did I learn in school today? How should I know?"

'Just wait till your husband gets home!'

'Son it's time to talk birds and bees; birds and bees have never successfully mated. And that's all you need to know about interspecies sex.'

I should have listened to my Mum: 'Never sit down during the hunting season...'

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"My five-year-old would never do that."

"If you have a boyfriend, I have some advice, young lady! Wisdom that's been handed down from generation to generation!"

"It's summer, go outside and play."

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

"Baldo, school has always been about learning, expanding your mind, becoming a better person."

'People must be crazy to pay to hear a lecture! I get 'em free at home every day!'

'Mum,are we born from an egg?' 'No honey. People bring us at night'

'You won't understand it now, but when you have kids, you'll wish for a longer school day.'