Parenting Wisdom Gifts

"His room is always clean. Do you think we should take him to a psychologist?"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"What did you learn in school today that I'd object to?"

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'We're not paprazzi. We're your parents.'

"Go ask your mother."

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

Two breasts: No waiting

"I'll tell you what: I'll clean up your room, you clean up my laptop."

"Don't make me come over there."

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

'Said once, and never again!'

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

A Victorian park.

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

'Your phone isn't wireless, Dad. I found some wires in it right here.'

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

"It's summer, go outside and play."

I should have listened to my Mum: 'Never sit down during the hunting season...'

$200,000 to raise a kid in America! Do you regret the expense? Of course not, sweetie! You're worth every cent. That's a relief. Because I need $20 for the movies!

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

"Baldo, school has always been about learning, expanding your mind, becoming a better person."

"I've said it until I'm blue in the face - keep sitting on walls and something bad's going to happen. But what do I know? I'm just your mother."

'I should have listened to my parents and not run away to join the circus...'

'Mum,are we born from an egg?' 'No honey. People bring us at night'

'You won't understand it now, but when you have kids, you'll wish for a longer school day.'