Parenting Perspective Collector Pillows

'First the birth canal, and now preschool! Where does this all end?'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'He never listened to his mother!'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

Mountain Dads

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

The relay race

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

'Except...That.'

"My mom used to be an excellent housekeeper, but I put a stop to that."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

(Preschool for Dummies)

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

"We do all our own parenting."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

Chewbacca mom and her entire family get full college scholarships.

'Baby escape.'

"If you need help with your homework ask your father...and he'll ask me."

'Don't mind the baby. She's teething.'

"Come now, Gracie! Squash is a great vegetable...it can be fried, sliced, baked, steamed or boiled...before you refuse to eat it."

'Okay, but if you hadn't made me eat my vegetables, I wouldn't need to brush my teeth!'

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

"Work soft, play soft, Son"

"Ok mummy, perhaps this isn't so crummy!"

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'