Parenting Laughter Seeker Gifts

"Mommy and daddy will come back when you two learn how to share."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Use your inside scream."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

Young Godzilla.

A Mom's Purse

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

Wild Child

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"I'd like a note excusing me from my wife's childbirth!"

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"Do you have any hopeless little drongos?"

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'You don't have to look after them much at this age - they don't remember anything.'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"At high noon I'm takin' her to the zoo. How's one-thirty?"

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 4

'My dad cut it. My mother repaired it. Now, I'm looking for some professional maintainance.'