New Parent Chuckle Seeker Gifts

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

They Removed my Brain.

Husband and Child in Pram

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

Beware of teething baby.

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'Your son couldn't come. He sent his sister.'

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

Twins

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

I'm not saying she's a gifted child, but she did write her own birth announcement.

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

"When do I get my phone call"

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

Mobile Phone Mobile.

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

"Dress it up all you want – it's still and invasion of my privacy."

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

3 Kings - "I think nappies would have been more useful than Frakinsense."

'So that's why babies don't have teeth.'

Two breasts: No waiting

'Baby skunk delivery.'