New Parent Laughter Gifts

'Your son couldn't come. He sent his sister.'

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Use your inside scream."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

Family.

Husband and Child in Pram

They Removed my Brain.

Honey, Can You Buy Me Some Sanitary Towels?

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

Beware of teething baby.

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

I'm not saying she's a gifted child, but she did write her own birth announcement.

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

Twins

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

"When do I get my phone call"

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Mobile Phone Mobile.

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."