New Parents Chuckle Club Gifts

Birth of a conspiracy theorist. Sooo

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

Newborn Chaos

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

Husband and Child in Pram

Beware of teething baby.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

Twins

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

'Your son couldn't come. He sent his sister.'

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

I'm not saying she's a gifted child, but she did write her own birth announcement.

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

Waaahhh. Please, Milo. Stop crying. Look, Milo. I'm making a funny face. Waah. I'm waving my arms in the air! Waah. I'm pouring burning coffee on my head. Waaah. Waaaaaaaahhh. Look at this dog. Isn't it disgusting and hairy wairy? Humiliating on every level. Giggle.

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

Congratulations!

"When do I get my phone call"

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Mobile Phone Mobile.

"Dress it up all you want – it's still and invasion of my privacy."