Newbie Parents Club Gifts

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

Newborn Chaos

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

Maternity Arrivals

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

'Sorry, Holly!'

Congratulations!

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q

"Tomorrow we go back to the hospital and replace him with a quieter model!"

'We had to toddler proof the tree this year.'

Who Needs a Power Shower,

Wow! Look at these cool shower presents. Nature's Baby Boutique. 100% natural baby soaps, changing pads, bottle holders, safety gates and classical music tapes. Plus stroller, crib and swaddling blankets. Without all this stuff � How could you ever have a natural baby?

"I hate it when the baby f**ks my face."

'How's it going?!'

Mother congratulating her sister on becoming pregnant.

'Doesn't give us much to look forward to, does it?'

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

"According to this, we just keep it alive until it can take care of itself—between seventeen and forty-five years."

Birth of a conspiracy theorist. Sooo

'Shouldn't you be out in line...'

"Now that I have a child, I understand the love you have for your dog."

Two parents look at their new baby who arrived in a boxed with a destroyed instruction manual.

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

"Having a new baby can make you feel a bit tired, sometimes you forget things."

"I don't know, Tia Carmen. All these outside forces influencing Baldo and Gracie...they scare me. Bad TV, crazy friends, drugs everywhere..."