Young Parents Club Gifts

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

Newborn Chaos

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Congratulations!

"I was 13 once. It was hard."

'Either switch off his batteries or take 'em out!'

'We lease the children, of course!'

"I hate it when the baby f**ks my face."

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

"According to this, we just keep it alive until it can take care of itself—between seventeen and forty-five years."

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

'That little fella has quite a burp on him!'

"Another round of iced teas, and would you please find a placemat that will actually challenge our gifted son."

'My mother signed my report card, but it got smudged by her tears.'

Poo Bags

"We think it's important to meet the parents of our daughter's bad influences."

'True happiness!'

"He did well in his exams. He got an A level in creative knitting."

"His first fax."

Right before baby's first text.