Tired Parents Club Gifts

'Either switch off his batteries or take 'em out!'

Newborn Chaos

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Congratulations!

"But MOM, between school, homework, sports and music lessons, I don't have time for time-outs anymore!"

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

"It's either "Bring your kid to work" day or it's "Drop of handbag in kindergarten" day today?"

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

'You must've really been tired last night. You put the diaper on the dog.'

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

'That little fella has quite a burp on him!'

'My mother signed my report card, but it got smudged by her tears.'

"I sometimes think my mom hovers too much."

"There is no 'snooze button'. Get up, it's your turn to see to the baby!"

"We think it's important to meet the parents of our daughter's bad influences."

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

Two parents look at their new baby who arrived in a boxed with a destroyed instruction manual.

My mother wants to speack to you about being more attentive to the behavior of students on the bus.

'Your father used to want a night out with the boys, but now he's satisfied with a few minutes with Andy Rooney.'

"I don't know, Tia Carmen. All these outside forces influencing Baldo and Gracie...they scare me. Bad TV, crazy friends, drugs everywhere..."