Exhausted Parents Club Gifts

'That little fella has quite a burp on him!'

That's my daughter, Alayna

Newborn Chaos

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

'Either switch off his batteries or take 'em out!'

Congratulations!

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

'We had to toddler proof the tree this year.'

'First thing in the morning I'm ringing the school about the amount of homework he's getting.'

"It's either "Bring your kid to work" day or it's "Drop of handbag in kindergarten" day today?"

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

After years of shuttling teenagers around, Gina started hallucinating that she was morphing into a Chrysler minivan.

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

'You must've really been tired last night. You put the diaper on the dog.'

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

"Sometimes I wish I could clone myself."

'Shouldn't you be out in line...'

Keep away from our Doreen.

"I sometimes think my mom hovers too much."

"There is no 'snooze button'. Get up, it's your turn to see to the baby!"

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

Two parents look at their new baby who arrived in a boxed with a destroyed instruction manual.

"I don't know, Tia Carmen. All these outside forces influencing Baldo and Gracie...they scare me. Bad TV, crazy friends, drugs everywhere..."

Now, dear, he's not bad, he's just overtired.