New Parents Chuckle Club Pillows

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

Newborn Chaos

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

Husband and Child in Pram

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

Beware of teething baby.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Twins

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

'Your son couldn't come. He sent his sister.'

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

Congratulations!

"When do I get my phone call"

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

"Dress it up all you want – it's still and invasion of my privacy."

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Got a clever one here...'