Parenting Humor Seeker Gifts

Cinema Certification, Suitable for kids, but will drive parents to distraction.

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

The Poky Little Pupa.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"I need to know who started it."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

Trick or Tweet

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'