Parenting Humor Aficionado Pillows

When Moms Dance

'It's normal for kids his age, not to share. However, they will readily share their communicable diseases with you.'

"Hey, I love my daughters too but you gotta set boundaries."

'That's one thing about my sister - she's not fussy who she bites.'

Adam and Eve and Courtney

"Get me Room Service."

'Happy Birthday, Chester A. Arthur!'

'Did Mom send you to your room, too?'

'I'm here to pick up the pieces.'

Parents aren't cool.

'Wait until you see the nit nurse's report...'

"My kid said his first two words and you know what he said; 'I'll sue.'."

"Oh, did baby get a boo-boo?"

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I need to know who started it."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

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