Parenting Guide Reader Gifts

Dummies for Dummies.

'Soon he will stop asking where he came from and start telling you where he is going.'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

Exam Room.

Ask your mother computer.

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"Better safe than sorry, son."

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

'My mother made me apply.'

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

Before birds and bees,

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

'Did you feel that??'

"And don't take that tone with me, mister!"

"You're not going out dressed like that!"

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

'Son it's time to talk birds and bees; birds and bees have never successfully mated. And that's all you need to know about interspecies sex.'

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"

Come to my party