Parental Guide Gifts

'That one failing grade is for the course where you did most of my homework.'

"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

Ask your mother computer.

Exam Room.

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

'It's ok now, but the adoption process is so slow, reviews, reports, form filling, it's a nightmare!'

High expectations

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Dummies for Dummies.

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"Better safe than sorry, son."

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

'My mother made me apply.'

'Soon he will stop asking where he came from and start telling you where he is going.'

Before birds and bees,

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

A Victorian park.

"And don't take that tone with me, mister!"

'How many times have I told you to stop playing with that calculator?'

'Did you feel that??'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

Sat Nag: Are we there yet, Dad?

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

Cinema Certification, Suitable for kids, but will drive parents to distraction.