Parental Guides Gifts

"Better safe than sorry, son."

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"Mommy, Look! Santa's Not Wearing a Mask"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Dummies for Dummies.

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

Exam Room.

Ask your mother computer.

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

'Soon he will stop asking where he came from and start telling you where he is going.'

'My mother made me apply.'

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

Before birds and bees,

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

"And don't take that tone with me, mister!"

'For goodness sake dad, buy a sat nav.'

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

'Did you feel that??'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

'How many times have I told you to stop playing with that calculator?'

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"

Come to my party

Cinema Certification, Suitable for kids, but will drive parents to distraction.

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

'Son it's time to talk birds and bees; birds and bees have never successfully mated. And that's all you need to know about interspecies sex.'