Parent Guide Gifts

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Dummies for Dummies.

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

Exam Room.

Ask your mother computer.

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

'Soon he will stop asking where he came from and start telling you where he is going.'

'My mother made me apply.'

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

Before birds and bees,

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"And don't take that tone with me, mister!"

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

'How many times have I told you to stop playing with that calculator?'

'Did you feel that??'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

A Victorian park.

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"

'Son it's time to talk birds and bees; birds and bees have never successfully mated. And that's all you need to know about interspecies sex.'