Parenthood Parody Fan Gifts

Discount Daycare

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

Chicken With Stroller

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

'She said her first words today.'

Dinosaur Group Think

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'I dressed myself.'

Dad Dancing.

"Sure, Mom's eager to get us back to school, but she could have stopped the car!"

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

12 step program

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

National Mom Monument.

"Three junior meals and a vasectomy, please."

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'Look, Daddy! - Fluffy begat!'

'Our son might be 'Lord Greystoke' and all now, but he still writes to us when he needs advice...'

'It's so I don't lose the kids in the long grass...'

"I help as much as I can with the baby: I'm always the first to smell when the baby needs changing..."