Parenthood Humor Lovers Gifts

Baby to-do list.

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

Chicken With Stroller

'She said her first words today.'

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

Young Godzilla.

A Mom's Purse

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."