Parenthood Humor Lovers Mugs

Baby to-do list.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

Mom dwarves.

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

Chicken With Stroller

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'She said her first words today.'

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

A Mom's Purse

Young Godzilla.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

'Actually both my kids are twins...'