Parental Involvement Fun Pillows

'I made the team, Mom, and so did you! I volunteered you for team driver.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'The kids were so sweet...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

Jeff's Smorgasbord

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

Children's Nursery

Parent Involvement Tip #1

I am to blame.

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

Baby gets blame for father letting off a fart.

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

'Mom can I have another apple?'

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

Baby car seat for a Native American.

'Mom never pops a wheelie.'

Switchback Playground.

"You can't have dessert until you eat all of your people nuggies."

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

Beating Dad at Chess.

He knows a few words, but he doesn't stay on message.

'Thanks for the offer to baby sit him, and don't worry, he's not a fussy eater: Any dung you can find will do...'

Where did Mommy go? Turtle Peekaboo.