Parents' Night Out Pillows

"Yes, we have a 'Happy Meal.' It's when you leave the kids home."

"We found we really missed going to the theatre and eating in nice restaurants, so we gave our kids away."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

'Please let it be burglars and not the sitter cracking up again!'

"The babysitter wants to know where you keep your vodka?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

I could have danced all night!

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'The kids were so sweet...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

The Streets - Night

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Superheroes Having a Drink

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

Bingo night.

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

Clubbing

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Clown Happy Hour

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

First love.

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

'Cool! Where'd you learn the new step?'