Fun Parents Pillows

Driveway sealing roller tubes! Fun for the kids and no work for you!

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'The kids were so sweet...'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'