Parent Of Playful Kids Pillows

Jack in the box on strike.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'The kids were so sweet...'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Circus Act

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"